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Question: Why are negative desires, like anger, revenge and our unwillingness to easily forgive people who have done us wrong, so strong?
Answer: The short answer is because we have made those desires our enemy rather than our friends. Anything we make the enemy has power over us and runs our life.
The problem is, who we hurt the most with those kind of desires is ourselves. We hurt ourselves because we are afraid of those desires rather than taking the time to understand them and make them our friends.
When anger or revenge shows up, it means our sense of justice has been violated. It doesn't mean we have to act on those feelings and get even with people. Those feelings are teaching us how to take better care of ourselves so we don't allow people to violated our sense of justice in the future.
The reason we don't forgive so easily is because we don't want to forget how badly someone hurt us. The problem is, we only re-injure ourselves every time we withhold forgiveness from a person who hurt us and never learn the lesson in love that hurt is teaching us.
The lesson we learn from being hurt by another is that we know what it feels like therefore it makes us more kind, sensitive and compassionate towards others and because of the hurt we experienced, we are less likely to do others what has been done to us.
By the way, when forgive somone, we don't have to personally tell them so. We only have to feel the forgiveness in our heart and that is sufficient to heal our own wounds. The truth be told, we won't forgive someone in our hearts until we are sick and tired of being sick and tired of hurting ourselves.
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