Sex, Prayers, BRENDA and the Catholic Church

I was born an Italian catholic. I did all the things a good catholic boy did. I went to church every Sunday, I went to confession once a month and I received communion at every mass I attended.  This worked well for me until my teenage years and my interest in girls first appeared.

Instead of going to confession monthly, I started going weekly because my hormones were in over-drive.

Girls, girls, girls, that's all that was ever on my mind. My problems began when I starting thinking about Brenda in ways that my church would not be pleased, not one little bit..

Was it my fault or Brenda's that she was 36 DD and that my mind thought 'thoughts' that I knew were going to send me straight to hell.

The temptation to reach out and touch Brenda got so bad that in order to prevent myself from doing something I would later regret, I would bite the soft flesh between my thumb and index finger, until it bled. I did this to stop my mind from focusing on what I didn't want until God answered my prayers to take all of my sexual impulses away from me.

I prayed and prayed every single day to God for a solid year..

He didn't answer me. I got  zero, zip, zilch from God

One Day, in agonizing frustration I YELLED at God.

'What the hell is wrong with you God? Why aren't you answering my prayer for help?." ...... I waited for an answer. All I heard was silence...

In the silence of that day, I left the Catholic Church with its cold, unfeeling God. I quickly discovered masturbation and lived happily ever after...

YEARS LATER, without thinking, I ask God a question once again....

This time a voice whispered to me

"God most often answers your prayers in the form of an inspired thought or a creative idea that will, at times, take your breath away, move you to tears or make you smile from ear to ear."

That was the day I realized God had answered my  prayer of years ago. by pushing me out of the church and into the world of conscious thought. 

I am grateful.....


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