Political Correctness Update #1 and #2 (Humor)

POLITCAL CORRECTNESS UPDATE #1


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -

She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.'


2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -

She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -

She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'


5. She does not 'NAG' you -

She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER'

She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'




POLITCAL CORRECTNESS UPDATE #2



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:



1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT'

He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'



2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' -

He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'



3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' -

He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'



4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'



5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS ' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'


6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'REAR CLEAVAGE.'