Without exception when you fight any negative quality about yourself, you give that negative quality more power over you. Fighting, hating, resisting or disliking anything about yourself or another automatically causes you to fight, hate and dislike those things even more. It's natural to want to get away from those qualities that you do not like about yourself or others but fighting or resisting them only keeps them stuck to you like super glue. Fighting or resisting anything is like the chinese finger trap.
The harder you work to pull your fingers free from the trap, the tighter the trap grips your fingers. The only way out of the trap is to quit resisting it, give into to it and when you do, the trap releases its grip from your finger tips and you are able to set yourself free.
The same is true when you resist or fight with anything you do not like about yourself or another. The more you struggle to set yourself free from what do not like, the more you become entangled and trapped by the very things you do not like.... The moment you quit resisting what you do not like is the moment you can set yourself free from it.
Accepting, in the moment, what you do not like sets you free to create what you DO like.... You do not have to like something to accept it. You only have to accept it to set yourself free from it.
.
Mr Zappone,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this message. It was right on for me today. I've had the belief (up until today)that I had to pretend to have a like for something (to deny my dislike for something) in order to accept it, it felt like lying to myself to act as if I liked something when in fact I did not and I felt fear and guilt behind the admission of my dislike for something or someone. Can you answer for me what does it look like to accept something you dislike? Is this another way of saying to focus on only what you want/like?
thank you frederick - i really, really needed to hear this today!
ReplyDeletehappy holidays :)
Anonymous, regarding your question, can you answer for me what does it look like to accept something you dislike?
ReplyDeleteANSWER: What it looks is the opposite of what it looks like when you are not accepting something you dislike? In other words, when you are not accepting something you don't like, you are in an unhappy state of mind and when you are accepting something you don't like you are released from it and feel free.
What you hold onto that you choose not to accept will weaken you and make you one very, unhappy person until you do. We accept the unacceptable faults of another for the sake of our own happiness and not theirs..
Hi Fredrick, Great subject, acceptance can bring so much liberation. It can bring massive relief and bring it immediately. Non acceptance is actually caused by holding on to a resentment. Acceptance is in essence "forgiveness". The first meaning of "forgiveness" in my dictionary is "to give up the feeling of resentment". The forgiver is the direct benefactor as they are relieved of the emotional struggle. The most helpful thing that helps me to give up my resistance to "what is", I remember that forgiveness is NOT a condoning a wrong, it is the choice of not attaching bad feelings to ourselves, which would not benefit our self or anyone else. A resentment is feeling a negative over and over until that feeling becomes entangled into our nature. The power of that negative is what traps us into the very thing that we are resisting. Very liberating is your gift Fredrick Fredrick! Thank you, Bern
ReplyDeleteHi Fredrick,
ReplyDeleteWhat a useful blog with the holidays coming. I would like to add that accepting a person or situation dosn't mean that you do nothing. You can work quietly in the background to gradually change what you can, or limiting the time that you spend with someone. Also understanding that with most people they are doing the best they are capable of any particular time. Have a great Christmas.
Hello, I am now working at a job that has been an extreme challenge and mostly what I have never done. Not real sure I even like what I do now. I cannot obviously quit so I have to accept the circumstances, I am trying very hard to accept this whole situation, but i still feel anxiety about the work and what is going on.. what am i doing wrong how can I get over this? help....
ReplyDeleteMaggie
Ahhhhh, Fredrick, you 'bought' me some WONDERFUL WISDOM for Christmas! I've been needing this forever, it seems, & especially right now. This "fits" perfectly, and is a gift that I will use throughout the years.
ReplyDelete(P.S. I'm not being sarcastic nor a smart-ass; just "trying" to be cute. Dumb, I guess.
From the heart, you were right there when I needed your particular wisdom the most, and from my heart, I thank you. You have a knack for giving the right message at the right time. Thank you, Fredrick, for year's of "Gifts of Wisdom". My gift to you is my joyful & thoughtful
appreciation for your Gift. Fredrick, YOU ARE a
special GIFT! Your admirer & 'student',
Jackie Mitchell
If one were to accept everyone, even if they're murderers and thieves, and all the social injustice in this world, how do we advance as an ethical civilization?
ReplyDeleteFrederick,
ReplyDeleteWishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year.
Thanks for the nuggets of wisdom throughout the years (I've been a fan since the Power of Intentions Fourm days)- I really appreciate the time you take to pass on your knowledge.
Take Care,
Lainie
Bern, your words of wisdom about forgiveness are AWESOME... Thank you so much for posting them.. :)
ReplyDeleteI find what has been helping me...is when I catch myself resisting what is before me, I remind myself with love in my heart that God/ the Universe knows what is best for me, and I remind myself of this from a place of extreme trust.
ReplyDeleteMarcia
Anonymous, we advance as a civilization by becoming the change we want to see. I live my life by harming no one, telling my truth to everyone and demonstrating that love is a more powerful force for good, in this world, than all the violence carried out by people who have forgotten how much God loves them.
ReplyDeleteI accept the reality in which I live including the part I don't like rather than using the parts I don't like as an excuse to be unhappy.
Lainie, thanks so much for your words of love and support. It is always good to hear from good people, like yourself, who benefits from the wisdom I am blessed to share with others.
ReplyDeleteMarcia, thank you for sharing your wonderful insight with me.. Happy Holidays to you and your family...
ReplyDeleteJackie, thank you for your thoughtful and sensitive comments. They are very much appreciated by me. Great blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteChristine, I loved your additional thoughts to my post. What you say makes good sense.
ReplyDeleteIn my relationships, I do what I can do and when I can do no more, I let the universe guide me in handling the rest.
djh, I am glad I could help. :)
ReplyDeleteMaggie, feeling anxiety does not mean you are doing anything wrong. You are in a new situation and any time you are in a new situation until you 'master it' you will feel a degree of anxiety.
ReplyDeleteThe situation you are in is out of the norm for you therefore it is abnormal. Keep in mind that an abnormal feeling in an abnormal situation is perfectly normal.
When you feel anxious bless the feeling and SHIFT your focus to thoughts that makes you feel the way you like to feel.
Happy Holidays to you Maggie....
Frederick, thanks for the words I wish the same to you always. Keep doing what your doing, your helping alot of people. I have been trying to shift my thoughts away from the anxious feelings and it has helped. Doing better I believe.
ReplyDeleteI sent in something for my football career I hope that it comes true..
Maggie