Monday

I am a Forever, for all eternity, dog lover.




PJ fell down the stairs last night, the first time that ever happened to him. His old legs won't carry him anymore. Seeing him laying there, motionless, spread flat out, on his stomach, against the back of the step I fear he died without me being by his side. You see I love that little dog, a lot.

I rushed down the stairs to see if he was okay. I looked into his eyes and could see he was scared. It appeared that he didn't break any bones but he was in shock from the unexpected fall. I sat on the step with him, held him, rocked him, comforted him until he could stand up and walk on his own again. I wasn't sure that he would but surprisingly he did.

PJ is approaching 15 years. He is a mixed breed, part dachshund, part terrier. He has the body of a dachshund but the legs of a terrier.  We rescued him  7 years ago. They found him tied up next to the PA turnpike up in the mountains. We were his seventh home. 

PJ has been my shadow ever since Vona and I adopted, I can't go anywhere in the house without him being at my side. He has made me feel special in ways that few human beings ever could. Only another pet owner would understand that kind of special feeling.

PJ is sick (heart problems). He's dying now. Until he does I will love him on him and carry him up and down the stairs until the end. As long as he is not in pain, I will give him the best end life anyone could have.

What I notice as I open myself to PJ's impending death ( a day, week, month or a year from now) is how much love I feel in the room.  It seems opening myself up and accepting PJ is dying has opened me up to the love of the universe because I feel love pouring into every cell of my body and filling me up with an intense warmth and comfort I've never felt before. 

As a am feeling this intense warmth and comfort a voice whispers to me:

"Death is not the end, it is the doorway to a new beginning and when it is your time to go PJ will be on the other side waiting for you". 

As those words echoed in my mind, I felt warm tears of love gently roll down my cheek knowing PJ and I would, one day, be together again. forever again.


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