How to Be HAPPY When 'Bad Things' Happen

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I know first hand what the Connecticut shooting tragedy is like. I worked two blocks from Columbine High School when that massacre happened and worked with many parents who had children in that school including parents who lost their children in the gun fire that took place. The tragedy that took place in Connecticut today brings back a flood of unwanted memories that leave me feeling powerless and overcome with grief and sadness.

This latest shooting tragedy in Connecticut made me realize something important to my mental health.  After a tragedy happens, if I can do nothing at all for the victims and survivors involved in the tragedy, other than offer a heartfelt prayer or make a financial contribution, I should immediately let it go...  Why?

Because feeling bad about a tragedy that happened that I cannot change will not unchange it.  The only thing focusing on the tragedy will do for me is makes me feel worse. And since feeling bad helps no one, I choose to focus my attention exclusively on what creates more good in my world. And one of the things that creates more good in my world is being grateful for what I have rather than feeling bad or complaining about what I don't have.   

I am grateful for my 5 children and 14 grandchildren.  

What are you grateful for today? 

- Frederick Zappone 



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Got GRIEF? Feel What You Feel. Feel it Fully.

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SHARING OUR GRIEF OPENLY AND UNASHAMEDLY WITH OTHERS ALLOW THE LOVE OF ANOTHER TO FILL THE LOSS IN OUR SAD, LONELY, HURTING, EMPTY HEARTS.

I know about loss, Two of my children unexpectedly passed away, I lost two marriages and two businesses so I am intimately acquainted with loss and the healing process that goes along with it.

When we have a sudden loss whether it be someone we love, a job or a pet, we experience a thing called grief. What is grief?  It is an implosion of our energy inward and because our energy imploded inward, it is very painful. Our culture, the American culture, doesn't give up permission to openly wail and cry when we experience loss like some cultures do. As a result, often times, we suffer more from our losses than people in other cultures do.  


GRIEF UNEXPRESSED IS VERY, VERY PAINFUL.....

Unexpected losses because they are unexpected take us by surprise and because they do, they cause us to have a strong emotional reaction, sometimes violently so.  What are we to do with the grief we feel from a loss? The answer is really simple, feel what you feel until you don't feel it any more. 

Don't try to fix what you feel because you can't, simply feel it fully and if you cry deeply, then cry as deeply as you can.   Grief, caused by the loss of a loved one, a job or money, is a healing process.

Grief releases all the toxic thoughts and feelings (guilt, regret, remorse, shame) we have been carrying inside ourselves, often times, not having anything to do with the loss itself. The loss of anything calls forth within us the loss of all things we have lost in our life but never grieved about.

GRIEF FULLY EXPRESSED MAKES US FEEL BRAND NEW AGAIN...


After a loss and the initial grief you feel, as part of the healing process, grief will comes and go unexpectedly until it has completely burned itself out. When you are grieving, feel what you feel and give yourself permission to feel it completely.  If you do that, the emotions of grief will burn themselves out rather quickly and what you will be left with is happy memories of the person or thing you lost..

Grief is ENERGY.  Express it fully.  If you don't express it fully, you will bury it and it will depress you and cause you to mourn endlessly.  Grief fully expressed will make you feel brand new again and cause you to realize that nothing is every really lost, it just changes form moving back into the invisible from which it came in the first place.

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the over wrought heart and bids it break.” ― William Shakespeare

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” ― Leo Tolstoy

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars, The deeper the grief, the closer is God!” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” ― William Shakespeare

In the comment section share your grief fully.  It could be grief over the loss of a loved one, a job, a pet, a relationship, even money.  Whatever your loss is, heal yourself by sharing your grief with people who care.  You can post your comments about your loss anonymously if you wish. - Frederick Zappone   

Inspired Living Blog - http://encwor.blogspot.com/

Gratitude Site - www.frederickzappone.com
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