The Best 'Drunk' Story I ever heard.

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A man got really drunk one night in his local bar. The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home. The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave but fell over. He tried to stand up again but fell over again. He thought if only he could get outside and get some fresh air he'd be okay. So he crawled outside then tried to stand up and fell over again. In the end, after falling over several more times, he decided to crawl home. 

When he got back to his house he pulled himself up using the door handle but as soon as he let go he fell over again. He had to crawl up the stairs and managed to fall over onto the bed and fell asleep. When he finally woke up the next morning his wife asked him what he was doing at the bar last night. He denied he was there but she said, "I know you were there because the bartender just called to say you forgot your wheelchair again...."  
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Beliefs

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Regardless of what you and I believe about God, in the end we 
all could be wrong. Wouldn't that be God's cosmic joke on all of us?

A Woman's Thought For The Day

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Women are Angels

And when someone breaks our wings....

We simply continue to fly.........on a broomstick...

We are flexible like that ..



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Thanks MJ for sending this my way.

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Did you know this about leather dresses?

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Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally???

Ever wonder why?

 

It's because she smells like a new Truck.

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Thanks Suze B. for sending this my way.  :)

Checkmate

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When my sister was in high school, she went out with the captain of the chess team. My parents loved him 'cause they figured any guy who took three hours to make a move was safe.

- Comic Brian Kiley

Raspy Voice

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Men are attracted to 
women with a raspy voice. 
We think, Hey, maybe she's 
is all done yelling. 

- Comic Moody McCarthy