JOKE #1
An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly. "Well," she says, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say I would like it infrequently."
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment.
Then, looking over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and asked, "Was that one word or two?"
JOKE #2
An old man, Mr. Brown, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Brown, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Brown, please accept my condolences.
The following day, Mr. Brown was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Brown," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."
But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Brown, " I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"
"Well, he replied, "Today's the viewing."
FINALLY my 'Thought MASTERY Program'
has taken on a life of its own. It doesn't matter
what I tell people, it does its own thing. - Frederick Zappone
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