We all have a critic in our heads, it lives there rent free without our permission. It is passive/aggressive.
THE CRITIC IN MY HEAD CALLED ME A 'DUMB SHIT' THIS MORNING
In looking back over my life, the birth of the critic in my head was a result of all the negative things people said to me that I allowed into my mind without questioning or editing those negative things in any way.
Mostly what I did with the negative things I heard, earlier in my life, was to believe them, argue with them, resist them or go sit in the corner and pout about the negative things other people said to me.
About 10 years ago I locked the critic in my head in jail as punishment for abusing me so much. For the most part it sits quietly in the 'jail' I created in my head for it but every so often it forget its in jail and starts going off on me and unloading all of its criticisms of me.
I had one of those moments this morning. I was going through all the messages I posted on Facebook because I wanted to include some of them in my next book titled: Quit Resisting Your GOOD.
As I was reading the things I posted, the jailed Critic in my mind went off on me. I would read a message I wrote on FB and as I did, my critic started giving me a 'running commentary' about what it thought of my messages. Here are a few things I heard my critic say to me this morning.
"What a dumb shit you are. That sounds stupid."
"Boy, I bet people think you are the most arrogant and righteous son of a bitch they ever met."
"Who are you to make those kind of comments?'
"You think you know something, you don't know jack shit about anything. You are a bullshitter extraordinaire."
"I am amazed that anyone reads your shit, better yet I am amazed anyone even likes you."
"Have you ever thought of killing yourself, You do know the world would be better off without you."..
AND ON AND ON AND ON THE CRITIC IN MY HEAD WENT.
I have really never needed the criticism of others because the critic in my head is one of the most brutal critics I know. At one time I believed everything the critic in my head said to me and everything my critic said to me hurt or devastated me some way. I had a long periods in my life where privately I was an emotional wreck.. People didn't see that side of me because I learned very early on, in my life, when you expressed your 'emotional wreckage' publicly, people would punish you in some way.
This started for me when I was a child. When I was emotionally upset I would act it out and be sent to my room. My parents would lock the door and told me they wouldn't unlock it until I promised to behave myself. Because I learned, at a early age that when you react in a negative way to people they either punish you for it or they withhold their love from you, I taught myself to handle all of my emotional upsets privately without involving other people. This action on my part eliminated all the drama in my life and allowed me to 'quiet down' my upsets very quickly especially when I didn't involve other people in them.
Over the years I learned to handle all of my emotional upsets privately and respond rationally and logically to any person or situation that upset me. This has worked very well for me and has allowed me to live in peace and harmony with myself for many years now. And even this morning with the 'nasty critic in my head going off on me, I feel peaceful and calm. How can that be, you may ask?
Well first off I accept 'what is' and what is, in this case, is that my inner critic thinks the worst about me. I also accept that it is possible some people think the very things my critic thinks about me and if they do, so what.
I can't do a damn thing about what other people think about me. And I am not going to worry about or get upset over things I have absolutely no control over.
The second reason I am not upset with what my critic said to me this morning is because my 'inner critic' teaches me all the ways I don't want to be with the people in my life.
My Critic is a bully, so I am not one.
My Critic speaks to hurt so I speak to love and nurture people
My Critic is extremely judgmental so I do not judge.
My Critic is very insensitive so I became very sensitive.
THE CRITIC IN MY HEAD IS MY REVERSE ROLE MODEL
By accepting and not resisting my inner critic, I have become the person I wanted to be. Today, I love and accept himself exactly as I am and in the process of loving and accepting myself exactly as I am,, it made it possible for me to love and accept all others different than myself exactly as they are.
The third reason I'm not upset with my critic going off in my head is because I don't believe a word it says to me. I've had enough positive experiences in my life to know the nasty things my critic says to me are a lie.
You see, it's only when we believe what our 'inner critic' tells us that it can hurt us and have control over how we feel.. Once we stop believing it, it ceases to have any power to upset or hurt us in any way.
If you are interested in knowing how I learned to love and accept myself exactly as I am, without changing one hair on my head, you can read about it here: http://frederickzappone.com/indexloved.html