Thursday

Question: Why am I afraid to be happy? (Article)

Answer: You are not the first person who asked me that question and I doubt you will be the last. If you got into the habit, during your growing up years, of surviving by being unhappy,  the thought of being happy threatens your survival. It doesn't threaten it on the physical level but it does on the emotional and psychological levels.

Another way of saying this is if your parents were unhappy people, and they were your role models, chances are you will be unhappy too.  For people who have not experienced genuine happiness, as an adult, happiness can feel like something outside their comfort zone.

The normal way to be is to feel happy most of the time but most people aren't normal. I would suggest trying being happy for 30 minutes a day and see how that works out for you.  

Happiness is your natural state. There is nothing you have to do or have to be happy, you just have to allow yourself to be happy and you will. 


Many people are afraid to be happy because they blame happiness as the reason they get hurt unexpectedly or as the reason something bad happens in their lives when they least expect it.

The fact is bad things happen in the world whether you are happy or not so you might as well be happy.  For some people being unhappy is the way they protect themselves from being hurt worse.  Their logic for protecting themselves by being unhappy goes something like this:

 'If I am unhappy and someone hurts me or something bad happens unexpectedly, it won't feel as bad as it would if I was happy and someone hurts me or something bad happened.' 

Being unhappy is a vicious circle because being unhappy naturally attracts more unhappiness to you. The fact is, you are  used to being unhappy just as some people are used to smoking cigarettes.  

You give up unhappiness the same way you give up cigarettes, you just stop.  It takes practice to stop one habit of thought and replace it with another. As I suggested earlier, practice being happy for 30 minutes at a time and see how that works out for you.

If you have any questions about your happiness issue, leave a comment and I will respond to it as soon as I can. - Frederick Zappone



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