Pursuing what I want HURTS, so I don't.

I have found pursuing things whether it has been love, health or money does not work for me. As much as pursuing is revered and encouraged in American society, it just plain does not work for me. 

All pursuing has ever done for me is repeatedly created the experience of failure, hurt and disappointment. Funny thing is, long before the law of attraction was promoted and written about in modern times, I always had much more success at attracting things than I have ever had at pursuing things. However because I have a tendency to be 'bat shit stupid' from time to time, I would revert back to my 'old ways' of pursuing things with always the same result of failure, hurt and disappointment.

I did this so often that I began to believe I was addicted to pain because that is all I ever got out of pursuing things, pain and more pain.  It has taken an awful lot of unnecessary pain and suffering on my part to learn that pursuing what I want always pushes what I want away from me rather than attracting it to me.  It is only when I relax, and let go, that it is easy for me to attract anything I want with no effort at all.