.Nothing can make you feel like shit faster than trying to think like the self-help books tell you that you should think. The harder you work at thinking like the self-help books tell you that you should think, the worse you get. True, some people get better but most get worse. Why?
Because you aren't a machine designed to replicate the thoughts of another. You are a unique (feeling and thinking) one of a kind human being. A human being who was created to experience both negatives and positives in this life because the positives tell you what you DO want and the negatives tell you what you DON'T want.
Without those ups and down emotions you would want nothing and all you would do is just sit there like a rock and watch life pass you by. Your emotions, both the negative and the positive ones, are the raw materials out which you decide what you want and what you don't want in your life. I will tell you right off, the moment you accept that 'perfection for you' is experiencing both the highs and lows, in life, your 'down' periods won't last so long and your 'up' periods will last longer, a lot longer...
In case you didn't know it, self help book are not self help. They are history books written by people, after the fact, telling you what worked for them...and it may not work for you.