Do You Feel Misunderstood by People? (Article)

Our deepest and most lasting hurts come from people not understanding us. People not understanding us is the source of conflict and the one of the main reasons relationships (personal, business, social) end.

There is nothing more frustrating in life than when people don't understand us.  Without being understood by people we feel we are invisible in this world. Not being understood by people makes us feel powerless, helpless, and unwitting victims of life.

The Internet is a place people go to wanting to be understood by  others only to discover, time and time again, that they are misunderstood by others more than they are understood.

Internet communications are one dimensional.  You have words on a screen but you have no voice clues or body language to go along with those words to understand a person at the deepest level. 

That being said, what is the solution to being understood on the Internet? The solution is to be more direct in your communications with people. Spell things out in black and white terms rather than using vague words that cause people to misunderstand you. People are not mind readers so if you don't want to be misunderstood by people speak clearly to them. This applies to both online and offline conversations.

SPEAKING CLEARLY TO YOU.

Here are a few things you should know about me. 

 

I am writing this blog to connect with like-minded people. I want to contribute to the health and happiness of people who read my blog and in return I want my readers to support my blog.

SOME OTHER THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT ME.

I am much like you. I am an ordinary person striving to do the ordinary things in life, like writing, extraordinarily well.

I am not nearly as strong as many people think I am.  I am very protective of my vulnerable side. I am also not as smart as I sometimes lead people to believe. And I am definitely not all that loving. 

I have a 'mean streak' in me that I must rein in every single day. I go through my life with memories of anger running in the background of my mind because I have not yet taken full responsibility for the anger I experienced as child.  I am currently working on solving that problem.

HERE IS WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE...

 

To be understood by people is to feel loved by people. To feel misunderstand by people is to feel rejected by people.

I also know if people have no 'willingness' to understand me then no matter what I say to them or how I say it, they will not understand me. 

The reason some people have no willingness to understand us is because their interest isn't in understanding us, there interest is in controlling us. If we get upset when people don't understand us, that means they are controlling us. It also means we think we need those people more than they need us. 

When I come to the conclusion that a person has no willingness to understand me, I make that okay with myself and let the conversation go. Sometimes I let the person go too.

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If this short article was helpful to you in any way please leave me a comment. Your silence does not make me feel understood or loved but your comments do.  -  Frederick Zappone

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